I mean really, what happened? I don’t feel any different now to when I did when I was 21, I wondered does my mum feel different at 60, I don’t think so.
I’m sure like many people born in the late 70’s we still feel like we are not yet “adulting”. Sure I have a wife, mortgage, job and a cat but I’m still young. Taken from Monty Pythons Spamalot “I’m not dead yet!”.
Turning 40 really bothered me and until now age has been nothing but a number. I’m 6 months into my 40th year, and time really does not slow down! Ive been to Miami, Texas, Bermuda, London and off to Guatemala next week. My mums been out to visit, my dad fell and broke is hip. We sold, moved and bought a new house. Have done a half marathon and a Triathlon (as a team with kym). Organized a 3 day HR conference in Cayman. Various speaking gigs. Oh and finished out a successful year at work. It’s no wonder the blood pressure is running a little high these days! I note this only to remind myself that turning 40 has not slowed me down in any way shape or form. I do suffer injury a little easier and the back is not as it once was but I genuinely think that if I give into the ailments. Get sedentary and try to take it easy then life would become very dull. So in order to keep up with the kids (those very trendy people in their 20’s). I’ve decided to verbalise my dreams for the next few years just as they do (The kids that is). They are brilliant at it! Whether they insta it, vlog it or simply tell anyone they meet, they are not afraid to verbalise their goals! They talk about their travel dreams and the next great business idea they have had. I have travel dreams, I have business passions and I remember being as excited about it all as the 25 year old in front of me. So what’s changed? Honestly nothing, my life experience have far exceeded their own simply because I have had more time to do them. But I still have loads more I want to do I just don’t think I express it as I once did.
One of the first things they tell you to when you want to do something is to tell someone about it, because now it applies pressure to deliver on the desire. The more people you tell the more pressure you put on the outcome of you actually doing what it is your setting out to achieve. Also you find others who wish to do the same thing and they reinforce your idea as something good for you.
The more you internalize the more no one else can share in your passion.
That is why I love the kids (Again people in their 20’s) – I actually get a kick out of their enthusiasm and helps it inspire me to share my dreams however different they may be. Youthful exuberance seems to disappear in the, and I hate to classify myself as this, middle aged group of society. As we get older do we give up on our desires? This makes me wonder why so many people in their late 30’s & 40’s take up an endurance sport?
So todays motivational bit – don’t give up on your drams just because society thinks you should know better and play it safe! You have more experience, more knowledge and possibly more money to do those things now. 40 is your wake-up call – “get busy living or get busy dying” – Red – Shawshank Redemption!
So it’s taken nearly 6 months to get over myself and start writing again. I have no idea why, time just slipped away. I had ideas, thoughts, musings there was a lot going on its not like life slowed down any, yet I could not seem to put pen to paper. So now, here we are in 2018, 6 months on from Ironman. 6 months further on in my work life and 6 months further on in life. When I put it like that, it does not sound like a lot of time but in reality, it seems like a lifetime.
It was actually a little endorsement from a young lady who is currently attending the SHRM national conference in Chicago, the current Miss Cayman Islands Anika Conolly. She mentioned me in one of her blog posts and it really drove home how little we know about what impact we have on others so it spurred me getting back to grips with this writing. Be sure to check out Anikas blog also! www.authenticanika.wordpress.com
Once I landed back on terra firma in Cayman it was a strange old feeling, my alarm was no longer going off at 4:30am and I did not have a reason to ride, swim or run yet I had this craving to do so. What is weird though was that my body really wanted to do this activity that it had been conditioned to do for the prior 6 months, but my mind was done, it was closed, on vacation with a no entry sign held up. I’d watch triathlons on you tube, I’d see the weight creeping back on yet still I could do nothing. I would sit on the sofa on a Saturday afternoon in blissful content, eating and watching absolute rubbish on TV all whilst this little voice in my head was saying what are you doing you should be running or doing something.
I had this gift of time and yet I squandered it, but I know there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. Looking back it’s actually quite scary, I reached some dark places as I became anxious about my weight (which isn’t helped by male friends patting you on the stomach saying “its coming on nicely mate” & “I take it you are not training anymore”!) Little did they know the mental anguish I was going through in this battle between wanting to get back out there and simply being so tried that I could not move. I actually became quite sick to the point of turning to the doctor. This visit didn’t help me any as my blood pressure was off the scale and various body markers were all out. So now it just added to the spiral of I need to exercise, I need to eat right, but I’m soo tired.
There is probably a separate blog about how guys body shame each other all the time without really reflecting on how those comments are received. I 100% believe that men are just as susceptible to the anguish that women go through, accept that it is somehow acceptable amongst guys to be utterly direct to the point of rudeness about other guys physiques. I mean you would never walk up to a female friend and say “wow that beer baby is about ready”. We all know when things are a little tight, we shame ourselves enough but somehow it’s fine for guys to do it to each other. Maybe I’m over sensitive but I also know what I go through in order to ensure I am fitter than most even though I may not have the six pack everyone else thinks they have. Trust me at 40+ it gets a lot harder!
Anyways this isn’t a blog about body shaming!
Post the doc’s visit seemed to give the kick I needed to start eating right, Since January I have been going to F45 a great cardio and resistance circuits training class 3-5 times a week. So I may have bulked up but the waistline is actually the same! As it was something new my brain said ok and the motivation to go and continue going has remained. It has also fit around my work schedule well. The mood has lifted, it has allowed me to schedule training so the voices have stopped worrying about whether I was exercising or not. I also set up a cycling group/class on a Tuesday morning that motivated me to get back out on the bike. It’s only once a week but it has been great to encourage others and still know that my legs are in good shape.
Just for fun Kym and I did a half marathon in March in Miami which I ran no problem no PB, far from it, but It just goes to show that the fitness does not disappear as quickly as you feel it does! What was lovely was there was a photo of me crossing the line with Kym cheering me through which is a rare capture and a lovely moment for me. Kym is on the left in yellow.
From a fitness point of view we are in to run the New York Marathon in November and the body and mind are now ready to tackle some training as I want to run a PB for a marathon time. I’m actually looking forward to it and know that the fitness doubts will disappear as I start to feel better about my overall health again.
The physical tolls of Ironman training are always evident but the post ironman mental fatigue is something I have not seen many people write about. I know friends that are always training and doing several ironman events or similar endurance feats and I can totally understand why. You become so conditioned to training that you always need a goal to train for and when there isn’t a goal you just don’t know what to do. I love the sport, I love all sports but I didn’t know until I looked back just how much this one took out of me. It’s not as if I have taken it easy over the last 6 months either. I do 60+ hours a week with work, I organized a 3 day HR conference, I traveled for work, did presentations we sold our house, moved house bought another house! Plus all the other things that daily life throws at you but because I wasn’t doing that additional 15-20hrs plus a week training my body thought there was something wrong!!
So – looking back it has been a crazy 6 months there are so many things to comment on and I am looking forward to doing so over the coming weeks. I hope that you, dear reader, will find it interesting. But my message from today’s blog is simple:
You don’t know where you have been until you look back. When you do, you realise you moved forward in more ways than one.
First off apologies… you’re probably sick of hearing about this sodding Ironman! My facebook feed was alight with congratulatory messages snapped pics and an amazing outpouring of love and support from friends, family, fellow triathletes, squad members and well-wishers, it was simply overwhelming and wonderful all at the same time. So please know that these messages all helped to make this experience very special for me. I am also not going to leave this thank you to the end of the report – You cannot do a race like this without support, I wouldn’t be at the start line without the encouragement and love from my wife who knows when training isn’t going well and pulls you through it, she doesn’t mind when the alarm goes off at 4:30am so you can get a 3 hour ride in before work, she is the one that worries when I am out on the Cayman roads and doesn’t really sleep till I get back in, anyone who has done this sort of thing will tell you it’s impossible without their support of your endeavor, so this is for her. In addition I have also had a great training partner in Danny we have both had dark times in training and helped each other through and we are part of a collection of athletes (Breakaway Squad) that train together and motivate each other, it’s an amazing group of positive people and Generali have also sponsored some of us with great kits which you will see me wearing during the event so big thanks to them. The one other person who made this possible was coach Kim Schwabaumber (Fuelyourpassion.com) a multi time Ironman podium finisher, nutritionist and all round fab coach. No matter what your ability I strongly believe that having a coach for this type of event that understands your strengths and weaknesses, holds you accountable for the plan and gives expert and experienced advice is invaluable it certainly helped me achieve the training I needed and the experience I wanted out of this event. Kim Thank you.
Our event was in Panama beach Florida normally more synonymous with spring breakers evidenced by the plethora of amusements and bars most of which were beginning to wind down for the off season, only to be engulfed by the Ironman machine. IM Florida has been in Panama beach for nearly 20 years and the residents and volunteers have had plenty of events for which to practice! They managed to operate a slick well planned event and the greatest thing of all the weather played ball! No storms, no great wind just some nice heat, which to be fair we are pretty used to!
Bag and bike survived the various planes train and automobiles to get to the event and although American Airlines managed to break bags and do some superficial damage to the bikes it was nothing that was going to stop us!
Coach had told me I needed to get some medication to have on me during the race which mainly prevents stomach upset etc… things like gas X, Tums and Imodium, So you can imagine the cashiers face at the local “Piggly Wiggly” general store when two guys dressed mainly in lycra deposit tubs of Vaseline, and various stomach meds on the counter….. I say no more….
Having achieved the All World athlete status from the various 70.3 races last year it was great to be able to use this perk to skip the hour long line at check in, it really made us feel that little bit special akin to getting invited to board in group 1 on American! Check in was a breeze so now it was time to chill. Having been fighting off man flu for the last few days I wanted to dive into the ocean and flush out the travel and test the water conditions etc…. so Danny and I donned the wetsuits and went down to the beach. Pretty much the only time its ok to get into an elevator with another man dressed in rubber…..
The sea was cold, I was very glad it was going to be a wetsuit legal race! Once you got going the coolness of the water was quite refreshing and you didn’t really notice the temp! Dip done, time to chill. Trying to chill the night before an ironman is akin to asking a 7 year old not to think about Christmas on Christmas Eve! It’s a mixture of emotions and OCD overdrive! The excited anticipation made my stomach want to remove anything it consumed within around 30 minutes great for pre-race weight loss bad for the mind thinking “ oh my god what if it’s like this tomorrow!”…. I packed, repacked and tinkered with my nutrition and race notes, thank god we had to check in our gear bags the day before as that didn’t allow for last minute messing around with stuff. I tried to be as calm and methodical as possible to eventually stop messing. The last thing I did was write out my fuel plan on the bike so I could tape it to my handlebars, this turned out to be the single most important thing I could have done.
The worst part of an Ironman is the night before, well actually it’s the 6 months worth of training, but the night before is an excruciating wait. You just want to get on and do it! Having had a pre race meal of chicken and pasta salad we all retired to our respective rooms. I elected to sleep in the spare room so that I would not keep Kym awake with my inability to sleep after all it was going to be a long day for our support crew as well! I needn’t have worried to be honest as I actually got to sleep pretty quickly and didn’t wake up until the alarm roused me. DC and I were pretty calm had some breakfast managed to “loose a bit more weight” which is every athletes dream start! And we headed out. The girls we going to meet us at the swim start an hour later.
Having deposited the nutrition bottles on the bike and dumped our special needs bags we proceeded to the beach start which took longer than expected and we were only just ready as they were playing the star spangled banner. Whilst it’s not my national anthem it always sets a great tone to a sporting event in the US and I enjoy the atmosphere of it. A kiss for the important people, Kym, and the cannon sounded…the race had begun. It was a self-seeded start meaning that you lined up around the time that you think you will do the swim in. To be fair I think athletes did do this realistically as I didn’t have to swim over any slow swimmers nor was I swam over. I seeded myself in the 1hr 10-1hr 20 section. Even though I thought I could go quicker you just never know what happens on the day. I was jumping up and down to the music as we headed down the start chute, hi fiving spectators all in an effort to calm the nerves reduce the heart rate and allow myself to enjoy the moment after all 6 months’ worth of training had led to this.
As I dove in to the cool waters, the nerves eased the breathing slowed and I fell into a rhythm remarkably quickly. This surprised me as in other swim events it has taken me a good 10 minutes to find that sweet spot in the breathing. I think the cold water helped and that I wasn’t caught up in a swimming melee as I was straight out into some good open water with a small draft pack ahead. The sun was just coming up so it was dark below, pretty eerie but also very serene, as I rounded the buoy at the top of the course around a half mile out to sea I stole a glance back at the chasing pack and realized I was swimming well and certainly up there with the top 10% of the swimmers. Knowing I was heading back to shore I allowed myself to ease into a slightly quicker stroke count as current pushed us back toward the shore. A quick mental body check, all good, apart from a small chaff around the neckline of the wetsuit, dam I must have missed that part with the vaseline. As I exited the water to go over the first timing matt to complete the first loop I was looking out for Kym but could not see her amongst the crowds of spectators, just as I reentered the water I was sure I heard her and took a final look back I didn’t see her but the video she took of me confirmed I had heard her! I glanced at my watch 31 minutes for the first 1.2 miles I was happy with that it put me on a good swim time if I could maintain so that was the plan for loop 2. About half way through loop 2 I caught up with some of the slower swimmers still on their first loop while this is actually a great motivator (You know you’re having a good swim) it’s actually quite difficult to navigate as you do swim into people at some pace. A lot of the time slower swimmers are slow because their sighting ability is all off meaning that they are not swimming in a straight line from point A to point B and on several occasions I had to move people by the leg to point them in the right direction! On other occasions I did literally swim over a couple of people but it was only by accident as the water didn’t allow for me to see them really until it was too late. I maintained pace and exited the water in 1 hour and 6 minutes a really great swim that I was delighted about as I had never considered going sub 1:10. This put me in a great mood going into transition and I had said to myself take your time get dry and do your thing. I lay down on a matt so the “wetsuit striper” (LOL) could take my suit off, this was a mistake as it allowed sand to get on my back and ultimately end up in places that will cause me grief later….. A tip that Danny gave me was to empty my transition bag completely on the floor before you event start to change kit so that you know you took everything you’re going to need on the bike. Again the volunteers here were amazing packing everything for you once you had finished with it. I changed into dry cycling gear ensure my nutrition was in the pockets and headed out. All told I had been in transition just 8 minutes. As I was leaving I saw Danny coming in so I knew he had also had a good start.
The sun was starting to come up the wind had a chill but my breathing was good and a quick check of the heart rate showed 130 beats per minute. So my coach wanted me to do between 125 and 135 BPM which is kind of where the heart had been in training and I had manage to maintain a good average of 20+ mph which would result in around a 5 hour 30 minute bike time for the 112 miles. I was not to overcook the bike as this would throw off my run and the fuel plan so stick to the plan was all I repeated for the entirety of the bike portion! I had to do this because I felt good and thought I should go quicker but this is fatal in this kind of race because feeling good in hour five does not equate to feeling good in hour 10. The bike is about measured control, eating/fueling and hydrating for the beast that follows. Sure I could ride a 5 hour bike if the bike was all I was doing but a sub 6 hour bike is always considered a good result on an ironman course. The other thing coach Kim had insisted on was this “You must pee at least twice on the bike”. The reason for this I that it tells you that you are hydrated, if you don’t pee in 6 hours you’re going to suffer on the run as most likely your dehydrated. I had the fuel plan taped to my handlebars having to drink 50 ounces of fluid in the first hour (basically to cover the swim deficit) and then all the various times I had to eat. I can’t tell you how happy I was when at around the 40 mile mark I felt that tug on the bladder that says if you want to go you can. Now that’s easier said than done when you’re cycling along at 20 mph and you don’t want to stop because your mate is behind you and you’re still competitive with each other! Plus you don’t want him to go by and you not know whether he is behind or in front! Also I have never, ever pee’d whist cycling along before! I’m sure the veterans amongst you have got this down to a fine art but for me it was going to be a first and hopefully last occurrence. As you all know cycling gear is quite tight and tends to hold your gentleman’s package up out of the way of the saddle, however this is not the most beneficial position to start a steady flow so I needed to rearrange a little, cue much hilarious hip swinging and short pulling to try and get my misters to dress to the right… I had made sure no one was around me during this but I dread the thought that someone was videoing this half mile stretch of road out in the Florida outback! Needless to say I managed it and the only person in the world who would be happy about this was the coach but to be fair I was also quit impressed with myself to! I did have to verbally apologise to my bike though. The road wound its course for another few hours and when I came upon 100 miles I thought Danny must be nearly with me now as I knew he was aiming for a slightly quicker bike time than I and sure enough I could spy him about half a mile down the road. As he came alongside he said his feet were hurting but as mine were a little numb as well I thought this was just par for the course. It turned out this would really hurt Danny’s run in a little while. At this point I was happy the swim had gone well, we were on the last few miles of the bike and I was cycling along with my training buddy about to complete the bike in 5 hours 32 minutes which was bang on plan. I had fueled as ordered and felt pretty good coming off the bike.
Into the run transition and once again I stripped off and put on fresh clothes to begin what is my nemesis. As you will have seen from previous blogs running is not my strongest sport so this was going to be where I would fight my demons and have what we call the dark moments! My feet ached and my back was stiff so I just walked out of transition talking to Dany trying to pep ourselves up. He was quieter than normal and I felt that maybe he was in more pain than he was letting on at that point. We walked and then gently jogged together. I think we were both excited at that point to be reunited with our other halves who were waiting about a half mile up the road. We had picked this point as it was close to the apartment and we would run passed them 3 times before seeing them at the finish. It is so so uplifting to see loved ones along the course and they were even more excited to see us! Some great video of us going passed them for the first time and Danny had found his feet (or so I thought) a he continued off on a quicker pace than I was going to maintain so we left each other to our own run race. This was probably the hardest moment for me as I looked at my watch around 3 miles into the run and the enormity of what still lay ahead hit me. I remember thinking this is going to take me hours (About 5 more at this stage) and you have that tiny bit of self-doubt, the sun was beating down and it was around 2:30 in the afternoon. Self-actualization comes into play here, positive mental thought. I think this is what the Ironman really tests. It test’s one ability to be mentally tough, you can be as fit as you want to be but if you haven’t trained the mind to push through pain and self-doubt then it always going to be a struggle. I actually said to myself it doesn’t matter how long this takes you can do it even if you have to walk you are going to be an ironman. I thought of a picture I had taken at the Athlete’s briefing it was a simple picture of a wristband they give to first time athletes attempting the accolade it simply says “Ironman – I will become one”.
When I said I would do this it was because I wanted to challenge myself, I like the endurance aspect of it and what I have learnt about how far you can push your body if the mind is willing is incredible. I am not the best or fastest athlete out there but I do have sheer bloody mindedness that doesn’t allow me to stop! This is the culmination of a road to wellness that started 3 years ago. If you take up triathlon this is also the race everyone asks you have you done? Everyone has their own journey but they are all incredibly individual. So these thoughts pulled me from the dark place and I started to look round thank the volunteers soak up the atmosphere from the crazy, lovely supports and enjoy it! Really enjoy it! Before long I was coming up on mile 6 (just 20 more to go!) and I realized that Danny hadn’t run past me yet so I couldn’t be far behind him, a minute or so later I saw him coming towards me he was walking with the first signs of a limp, as we passed he said he was done he looked very forlorn so I said keep walking and I’ll catch up. I sped up to the turn and caught him up shortly after. His feet had still not recovered from the bike and he was suffering cramps because of it. I suggested we walk run for a few miles and tried to lift his spirit with some banter about carrying him over the finish line etc… but inwardly I knew he was in for a long day as we were only at around mile 9 on the run here. Eventually Danny said to me he couldn’t run anymore and that I should run my race. I told him I would only carry on if he promised to finish to which he agreed. I knew he had to go passed Kym and his wife Dawn so I could pre warn them of his plight so they could encourage him on also. As I carried on I was gutted for my friend who is a stronger runner than I and trained as I did. It’s a long time to be in pain. I truly hopped he would finish.
As I came towards Kym and Dawn around mile 13 I could feel myself getting choked up I am not sure why but I think it was the realization that I only had 13 more miles to go and that I was feeling good, I loved that they had been tracking us for hours and the ironman dream could become reality in just a few more hours! I managed to tell them Danny wasn’t in a good way but I also didn’t want to lose my rhythm so I continued on and around to go and do the loop over again. Luckily the sun was going down and the heat was abating so this was all positive stuff for me! I passed Danny again we high fived and told him to get through it. I knew Kym and Dawn would also talk him into persevering which the video evidence also gave great light to! I caught up with another runner a little further down the road his name was Alex and this was his 5th Ironman. He was from New Jersey amd worked IT, he was a big guy like me and we chose to run and walk together for a few miles chatting about ironman the charity he was running for and various other bits about life. We attracted a few other walk run peeps and had a little community of us for a few miles it really helped. Most of them were on their first loop and were impressed that I was on the last leg it was great motivation and wonderful that everyone was encouraging for everyone else. It’s the only sport where if you’re not going to win it everyone just wants you to finish! Its dark now and mile 20 came up which was a real wow moment for me just 6 miles to go, I left our little community as I was moving quicker now as the realization crept in that my stomach was fine, my fuel plan had worked and now I could let go and just go for the finish. Around mile 23 you could heard the crowds and announcer at the finish but those 3 miles go slower than the first 23!! I started empting my pockets of unneeded gels and medical stuff, took my sunglasses from my head and put them in my pocket. I was excited to see Kym just as much as the finish line to share the realisaion that it was going to happen. I turned the final corner and the finishers chute was before me it’s about 800 meters long with people all along the side railing cheering, the big finishing gantry illuminated by massive lights and a huge TV screen. They are willing you along all the way and about half way down I heard Kym scream CCCCHHHHRRRRIIISSSS it was the best feeling I turned to her and just screamed back as the video showed, then the immortal words anyone who has started this race dreams of hearing. “Chris Bailey – You are an Ironman!!!”
I thought I would be an emotional wreck but instead I just smiled, I had nothing left I was walked through the finish area by yet another amazing volunteer I had my picture taken, and then fell into the embrace of a massive hug from kym who I think was just as amazed and astonished as I was, she screamed at me “you broke 13 hours! Amazing Amazing everyone’s been tracking its been amazing OH my god!!!!……” As I said at the start of this, only those close to you know what you sacrificed to do this, they know what it means and they also know when you exceeded your own expectations. Wow.
A beer in hand and a dry top we waited to see if Danny had beat his pain, we didn’t have to wait long till his name was also hallowed as an Ironman. Now the celebration began in earnest.
Thank you to all who followed on the what’s app group and on Facebook. The support for Danny and I was incredible and it only reinforces that we have some amazing family and friends. Big Love.
I’m sorry about the title but I love the way most FB posts get you to read an article by implying there is something earth shatteringly good in the text or video link. Alas I’m not sure if the below fits that category but I do hope you will read on…!
The last few months have been a bit of a blur!
I feel I have a mild case of anxiety and trying to figure out why!
Pretty sure my overreliance on coffee does not help this anxiety. So tried going without. Made it a week.
I learnt some pretty cool stuff over the past couple of months so lets give you, dear reader, a little recap. Maybe you can help answer the “what next” question.
January: Had Dad come and stay for a few weeks. He left in much better shape than when he arrived. We put him through Bailey boot camp in an attempt to try and improve his walking and overall wellbeing. Noticed him chocking on his food a few times. He entered his first running race the valentines mile, he did great! He’s not himself though and I’m worried about him. Sad when he left.
February: Some good work wins and Kym and I engineered a new service line to add to her personal training offering. My work constantly keeps me challenged, its exciting that there is so much opportunity but frustrating at the speed of which the market moves.
March: Headed back to the UK for a funeral, for my Grandmother who lived a very full life passing away at the age of 92. Her story is as epic as any person who has lived through the war years and raised a wonderful family. She was scared of being on her own more than she was of dying. Her husband of 60+ years passed away a few years before. I don’t think she ever recovered. Family was her life. She would have been proud to see how many people turned up to give her a good send off.
Travelled to LA for CoEd/Rotary to speak at various rotary clubs throughout the week, spent most of my time sat in traffic. Met some amazing people, did a 100mile bike ride with the LA wheelmen along the pacific coast highway, met a friend in Santa Monica who ticked a bucket list item for me by showing me round Beverley Hills in his 1956 Porsche speedster, people thought we were famous! He topped the week off by getting us courtside seats to the Lakers game! I’ve no idea how he managed it by Ryan Khan you are a star!
April: Raced in the Haines City Florida 70.3 Ironman – Achieved a PB even though I took the foot off the gas towards the end! Much to my coaches’ frustration, and mine!
Experienced the Boston Marathon first hand while supporting Kym. I was certainly more nervous than her. This was her biggest bucket list item. As a runner this is their mecca, after the bombings it became even more the marathon that everyone wanted to run. You have to qualify and Kym did. All she wanted to do now was have a great race. People told her she wouldn’t PB because of the hills. I had faith she would. She kept us guessing though and at the moment of the last split coming in on the app tracker we were following I knew she had done it! I was on the phone to her parents who were also tracking, we had a telephonic celebration when her final time came in. I couldn’t get close to the finish line to see her but I was there all the way! We had arranged a meeting spot outside the lingerie store “La Perla” – we thought it funny! I waited what seemed like ages for her to appear and when she did we both cried. The relief, the congrats, the overwhelming sense of achievement I had for her and simply the love. She talked about the race with such excitement and I loved hearing about it, I will also run this race but this time was hers. Everyone who has run a Boston Marathon has a “Boston” story behind it. We have ours and we have our ending. Until the next one.
Boston Marathon Before
May: Had my uncle come stay with us for 2 weeks, it was awesome to see him enjoy the island to its fullest and re kindle his love for diving. Got to know him better. Good times.
Delivered the largest HR Conference in the Caribbean, Released an Album (Now that’s what I call HR 1 available on ITunes) met some Hollywood stars, and came first in my category in the Grand Cayman May Classic cycle series.
Delivered a 43 page client report and wrote 2, 80 page proposals in response to RFP’s. Helped the wife launch her new business line which has got off to a great start with her new clients.
Dad got diagnosed with Parkinson’s.
So it’s June and the above was only a highlight of what a 6 months it has been. It’s been incredible, amazing highs and some earth shattering lows. But that’s life. We know the next six months already has a conference in New Orleans, A half Marathon in Chicago, A full Marathon in the UK combined with a special someone’s 70th, Rotary presentations in Idaho, and a full Ironman in Panama city. All whilst holding down a day job, trying to be a good President of the HR society and stressing about family. Its no wonder the speech by Grace Byers at our conference really resonated with me. She opened with “I am enough”. It’s an amazing story and mantra which helps you to ground and take a breath, you can see the speech on the CISHRP facebook page. I’m all for YOLO, but when you try to be all things to all people it can be completely exhausting. Therefore I am going to say “no” a little more, I am going to take a breath. This doesn’t mean I will work any less hard it just means I have to be smarter with my time, and apportion it to those that appreciate it.
There is a part of living overseas that is truly rubbish, I always remember my mum and my auntie Dee saying emotional goodbyes to each other after the summer holidays and that was only a boat ride across the Irish sea! But back then it was hellish expensive to get from England to Ireland unless you went via a 16 hour door to door car journey involving an eight hour sea crossing on the B&I boats, which, back then I used to think were massive, the biggest ships on the ocean some even had cabins! However once you have crossed the Irish Sea in a storm you knew you never wanted to be a fisherman or sailor. When you have seen your Nanna “Mac” throwing up in a plant pot whilst trying to find a seat you know that a better way to travel must be found. These days if there is a stiff breeze the ship won’t sail but back then they went in all weathers! Plus the boats were not the mega cargo hauling ferry boats of today with cinemas and all manner of amusements on board, oh no, you really were in for an epic voyage of discovery. The discovery being the contents of your stomach! Maybe that’s why they got so upset at saying goodbye they really were not sure if this was the last voyage!
However saying goodbye to family, especially my mum really never struck me like it does now, I get to see close members of my family face to face so infrequently that it really is like having a piece of your soul torn away just for a little bit. Then, face-time or Skype conversations resume and its ok because everyday is one more day closer to when you see them again. I also think that as we get older we worry more that something will happen to them that we wont be there for, you feel the frailty of life when you hear so many horror stories and honestly I think you never really know if you are saying goodbye… Now that’s heavy… and I don’t say it to upset you dear reader, but to emphasize the importance of living everyday to its fullest and appreciating the fact that you will always have someone who loves you unconditionally, fat, thin, rich poor, good qualities or bad your family will always be the ones who will be there for you. Of course I am supposing that you and your family are close I can only draw from my own experience and whatever ups & downs we go through we have always remained close.
Of course this most acute of pains, “the saying goodbye” one, is totally self-inflicted as we decided to live our lives away from them. We decided that a life on a Caribbean island was worth the momentary heartbreak of saying goodbye, I say momentary as it actually takes a good few days to subside enough to think about normal things again. But there is a tipping point, should it become too difficult because we didn’t want to be here then we would move in an instant to be closer to them, but for now the pros of living in this idyllic place far outweigh the lows of saying goodbye and one of the best remedies for overcoming the low is remembering just how much of a good time they had whilst with us and that reunion embrace that’s sure to come again very very soon.
We always make plans for the next visit, be it us to them or vice versa so we are able to say “see you in September” as that feels real, tangible almost, it feels close and manageable. As I write this I haven’t seen my sisters or father in nearly 2 years its gone so quickly but I know time has come that I must see them as I can’t bear the thought of it being a further 2 years till I see them again. So the September date has been agreed!
I also write this on the eve of my mums 3 week adventure with us over the Christmas and new years period of 2015/16 coming to an end. Its been 2 years since her last trip here and although we talk most days about life, my siblings and the like, her excitement leading up to this trip was akin to that of a 5 year old at Christmas which was just so lovely. Both Kym and I looked forward to this trip as well for several reasons. We both knew my mum needed the break, she works all the hours god sends to ensure the family can be taken care of even though she should take more care of herself, she is mum and she will never stop worrying. Even though we her children are fine, finding our way in the world making mistakes but generally getting by. Mums will never stop the “what if” thought, so they will make sure they have a little put away! Its part of the reason that Kym and I wanted to ensure she had a complete break, gave her the treats she gave us and hopefully send her back to Ireland feeling rejuvenated and ready to take on the world with one small change. Take care of you mum.
So today we have all been a bit subdued as we know the goodbye is coming, its way worse than knowing your going to the dentist to have a tooth pulled because the sadness hits you in waves. One minute you’re fine the next minute a mess knowing that she or they are not going to be a part of your day to day life for a while. It is like grief, and some deal with it better than others. Me, I’m getting worse maybe its because I respect all that they did for me growing up, maybe I can relate to them better now I have some worldly experience, maybe its just because I love them unconditionally and am truly sad that they are going.
But I cant stay sad for long, mum and the rest of the friends and family that visit, love visiting, we create memories, we have quality time and we can remember specific details of each visit. Facebook helps us give them an account of what we are up to and us them. I honestly don’t know how people did this in the time before Internet and skype, maybe that’s why the Cayman Islands were considered a hardship placement! It makes you laugh now but you had to be made of pretty stern stuff to leave everything behind and only be in contact via mail –snail mail that is. I love the wonders of our technology for that. It keeps us close and we are only a call away. Now teleportation that would be cool….
In closing “goodbye letters” its worth noting that I have kept all the little notes we slip under the door or hide in the suitcase that makes us leak a little on the plane or at home when we find them. They are amazing reads for those times when you want the assurance that someone cares and loves the time they spend with you. They remind me of moments I forget and always leave me with a smile on my face because after all they are sonnets for the heart that even Shakespeare, Wordsworth nor Elliot could not capture and personalize for you better than your mum (or someone special to you).
I watched a good friend of mine cross the Ironman finish line after 15 hours of pain and fatigue. A friend who only 12 months ago tore his patella tendon requiring surgery. He never thought he would do it. To be honest a few of us who have trained with him also had doubts as to whether he was fit enough etc…
I feel ashamed to admit but my friend does not look like an ironman. He has a sturdy build and like me is not the svelte like Adonis we generally see on the triathlon circuit. I know I have had and still have nagging body shape issues but then I realized that not many people look good in tri suits!
The reason I feel ashamed is that I judged my friend on whether he could do this epic event by the way he looks. Something that people judge me on. I gave him no credit for his mental ability and that is what an ironman is all about. The race is won or lost in your mind. Not many people gave me a hope of completing the marathon but I never had a doubt I would complete it. Just like my friend he never doubted he wouldn’t finish the Ironman as long as his knee held up.
The elation on his face as he crossed the line, the hours in training the mental win that he did it. He managed himself through that event and he can call himself an ironman with all the accolades that should bring.
For me, a realization, that whilst I never wished him to fail, I judged the book by its cover and knowing how that feels vow never to do that again. I should have realized that of course he was fit enough, after all he put in the training hours, so if he can do it in training why couldn’t he finish. He is a man of great resolve who has completed everything he has put his mind to, from making a film to setting up an ironman type event here. He has proven beyond a doubt that he has the strongest will there is and only something catastrophic would stop him for achieving what he wants.
I’m sure he will come across this missive over the next few weeks, I hope he understands my mistake and that the transparency of our friendship means he is not offended as this is really an admission of guilt for assuming he was weaker than he is. After all he is now an Ironman of Iron will! Congrats Buddy
It was dark, somewhere in the darkness an owl hooted, ok it was not an owl but the alarm clock in our hotel room going off at 5am! Actually 5am is probably a lay in compared to the 4am training runs, but sh!t the day was finally here! We had survived training injury free (Well relatively Kym had fallen over taking all the skin off her knees only 4 weeks prior!) we had survived the 12 hr travel, 2 flights numerous security checks and the bags had arrived. The hotel had our reservation and all of the worries associated with the trip just melted away because now was the big one. Now was the day, cometh the moment. 26.2 miles of who knows what.
For someone who has never run a marathon before this was the day I would check that bucket list item, I had always been fascinated by endurance running and secretly always wanted to do one but had switched the marathon off to watch football after 10 minutes, because lets face it, it was very dull to watch on TV. When I had tipped the scale at 300+ lbs my dreams of doing a marathon we a distant memory, there was no way within 12 months would I be heading towards a start line.
We picked Chicago simply because people who had done it before said it was EPIC. They said the crowd will push you along, the city loves the marathon! I have to say they were not wrong.
So having woken with the realization that it was go time I jumped out of bed and immediately ordered coffee and oatmeal from room service. We needed to be at the corals for 7am so that gave us about an hour and a half to brew for a … lets call it a solid constitutional. Bowel movements and marathons are the thing of nightmares, if you haven’t gone before the race you are most certainly going to need to go during it, you do not want to have to visit a marathon day portaloo! So stretching and coffee were my remedies of choice and thank the lord we had lift of. A few pounds lighter Kym and I headed toward the start line along with the 40,000+ other people giving this running thing a go.
I had been honest about my time, as mentioned in previous blog posts I have what I call a steady plod its not going to break any records but it will get me to the finish. I had said I would do it in under 5.30mins so into Corral G I was put. Kym on the other hand wanted to do a qualifying time for Boston which is something like 3:45 for her age group. An ambitious target for her first marathon. So with emotional hugs and lots of good lucks we parted at gate 3, her to run her race, me to conquer mine.
Of course being in a coral near the back meant I had a bit of waiting to do but I enjoyed soaking up the atmosphere chatting with their runners and just being thankful that I was there.
I heard the announcer send off corral C where Kym was and sent up a silent prayer to whoever listens wishing her an amazing race. At 8:15 I crossed that anticipated start line, I was off. Wooooshhhhhh a release of adrenaline, I had planned my playlist so that I had one of my favorite running tracks playing as I crossed the start – AC/DC Thundersturck if you have not heard the opening guitar riff of this song I dare you to listen to it and not be moved…
As we passed under the first overpass I think half of the runners stopped for a pee! Simply hilarious! As we headed out into the city Chicago came alive, the noise of the crowd reaches you first and it never leaves. I had my name on my running shirt and therefore complete strangers would shout go Chris! Your looking great! You can do this! If you ever want to see the amazing side of human nature in action go and stand along the route of a marathon. Not only is the support from these people amazing but every single runner is running for a reason whether its for themselves or for a cause there is a reason and the inner battles that take place along the 26.2 mile route are the things of legend and movie sets.
As I “hi-fived” the crowd I read motivational posters there are a few which stuck out in my mind:
“This is the worst parade ever” made me laugh
“The Kenyans are drinking all the beer hurry!”
“Never trust a fart”
“If a marathon was easy it would be called your mother!”
There were so many of these and just brilliant support from all the crowd which was some 1.5million people! Chicago you represented!!
Running through the 13.1 mile sign letting us know we had officially done halfway also marked the furthest race I had done thus far which again lifted the spirits knowing that each step now meant a step closer to the finish! It also meant a step closer to the furthest I had run in training, about 16 miles.
I had followed a training plan but it had to also include swimming and cycling in preparation for the upcoming 70.3 Ironman only 10 days after the marathon, plus a trip to vegas had also got in the way! To top it all I simply got bored of running on my own in the dark in 100 degree heat. So I had assured myself that I had the mental ability to push myself an extra 10+ miles on the day… I hope.
I think I hit my wall about mile 18 – the legs had started to seize up and my quads felt like lead weights – I fuelled with a gel took a couple of Tylenol washed down with Gatorade and had a conversation with myself. “You only have 8 miles left, that’s not far, your not really in any pain just enjoy the day look someone’s giving out bananas got get one….. That’s how I got over my wall, simply talking to myself and picking out something of interest up ahead and saying “go on lets go see what that is. Then I would laugh at myself as I arrived a sign saying wine only 6 miles away.
20 Miles – I got a text from Kym – “Done!!! –no idea on time think 3:40!! Hope you are ok thought of you all the way.. let me know how your doing!! Love you xx” – I fired off a quick congratulatory text saying I was at mile 20. I shed a tear out of pure joy for her achieving her goal that she had worked so hard to accomplish. An amazing time sooo pleased for her. It motivated me I wanted to see her at the finish and share that hug of relief that we had done it, the training had paid off and wow!!
I plodded on like this until around mile 22 – this is where it got really tough. Allot of people were walking and struggling, I didn’t want to struggle I can do this, I don’t want to walk but yet I’m walking – Your mind starts going a little crazy you think you are running when actually your are at a slow crawl! I crawled until mile 24 – then a sign said 2 miles to go, that was it, I was running home I was going to beat this bad boy – I was going to run a marathon. 50 meters later I was walking again! The legs had gone and it was all I could do to keep moving one foot in front of the other. Which is how the weight loss had started. Put one foot in front of the other and move. Just move. 1 mile. The crowds were thick here screaming at everyone telling us how great we are, telling us we were nearly home. 800 meters said the sign, I’m not walking now, I have a slow jog on and I’m picking up speed, I see the finish, I know Kym is waiting ready to celebrate both our achievement.
I crossed the line. 5 hrs 19 mins
Wow its done – where is kym…. My father text me my time, he had been following on-line along with my mum and kyms parents plus friends here in Cayman. A flood of texts came in all very humbling and amazing to receive. Again people can be so thoughtful, this meant so much to Kym and I plus the charity and these people supported us. Amazing.
Kym and I met up and had our hug and photos – we talked of our individual races our own struggles and high points and where we hit our lows. Each of us inspiring the other. We began the 1.5 mile walk back to the hotel. It hurt, but I didn’t care.
We had done it.
The 640 Challenge continues in earnest as I get back on the bike and in the water this weekend in preparation for the Ironman 70.3 in Miami next weekend.
I spoke with the legend Derek Haines this week who completed 6 Marathons in 6 Months at the young age of 66 and he did Paris and London within a week of each other. He actually went quicker in his second marathon, which is simply stunning and quite inspirational.
So there is hope that my legs will recover from the Chicago marathon in time! Thus far only 3 toenails have turned black, I will spare you the pictures as some things should not be shared! A great line from Mr Deeds “The hideousness of that foot will haunt my dreams…”
For someone who has only just scratched the surface of endurance events The last triathlon being the sprint triathlon I have certainly jumped in with both feet going straight for the 70.3 distance Ironman.
The euphoria of finishing my fist marathon has definitely given way to the dread of this upcoming challenge. However the sense of achievement in finishing the marathon can only be heightened by the possible completion of an ironman event. I doubt it will lead its way into the full ironman but for this year with 2 more challenges ahead it will have to do!
I’m doing these events and challenges in support of two wonderful causes – the Life foundation here in Grand Cayman which provides literacy and learning for those that require support. The other cause is the Guatemala literacy Project a simply epic sustainable program that helps beat the cycle of poverty through education in Gutemala. I currently support two children through this project by paying for their schooling. The letters they now write and hope for their future is heart warming. Until you have seen 3rd World poverty up close and personal its hard to imagine what these families go through. Everyone can make a difference.
So I know we are all asked to give a plenty to various great causes. I can’t tell you this one is greater than any other. But I can tell you your money makes a difference, plus it truly helps me get across these finish lines!
In 1983 a woman named Mary Manning a shop worker in Dunn stores in Dublin (kind of like marks and spencer or Macy’s ) started a strike that would allow her to meet world leaders like nelson Mandela, archbishop Desmond Tutu, the Irish prime minister and many others. What did she do?
She refused to sell Cape oranges.
You see at that time in South Africa there was apartheid, and her shop workers union had said they could abstain from selling goods that supported Apartheid. So she started a movement by saying no to cape orange sales. She went on strike for 2.5 years before the Irish government finally supported her action and embargoed South African goods that supported apartheid. She was only joined in her strike by 9 others. But what she and her fellow strikers achieved was simply heroic and worthy of super hero status.
But what intrigued me was why would a woman living thousands of miles away in a different country stand up for someone else.
She didn’t do it for fame or fortune she did it because to her it was a way she could make a difference.
I’m sure many of you have seen the film “the blind side” about the young African American (Michael Oher) who was homeless and taken in by the Toughie family in the mid west. There is a point in the biography and a great point in the film that shows you the moment when someone says… I can change this…
The point in the blind side is when Leanne Toughie (played by Sandra Bullock) looks back at Michael and tells her husband to turn the car around. She didn’t know or could have foreseen how this small action would lead to her eventually adopting and supporting this boy it was for her just the right thing to do.
So recently Emma Watson used this quote in an address to the United Nations: “if not me who if not now when” And I wondered did people knowingly run this quote through their head when they make these life-altering decisions. None of them thus far knew it was going to be life altering but you understand my point.
“No one else is going to do this thing so do I care about it enough to do it?”
Many people look back and these deeds and think yep great wow but I never get the opportunity to do something amazing and I would say you do you just keep missing it!
That’s quite a bold statement.
Think about it – you have had opportunities in your lives right now that could turn you into a super hero, but you either didn’t recognize it or were not passionate enough about making a change, taking a stance or you just didn’t have the time to take it further….
That’s ok, we can’t do everything, there simply isn’t time but how do you recognize something you want to be passionate about?
Someone asked me about 7 years ago what I was passionate about?
I listed a whole bunch of things I liked but they pressed me. Ok but what really makes you passionate… I didn’t know and it wasn’t until I moved abroad that I realized I was passionate about adventure. Trying something knew, having experiences. You see I believe a passion is different to a hobby or doing something you like when you allow that thing to change your life or define you.
When I first met Derek Haines a British man who has lived in Grand Cayman for many years and now calls it home. I had no idea what I would learn from him.
I learnt that you do not have to be extraordinary to achieve something amazing. Derek was simply a man with a purpose. His passion is running and he uses that passion to support causes that he feels benefit others. So when at 66 he decides to run 6 marathons in a year I thought he was bonkers.
He raised over $1million and brought a whole community together that now has a the funds to build its own hospice care facility.
But whilst the fund raising is great that’s not what made him a super hero to me. It was two things:
he made it happen
he inspired me to put one foot in front of the other and start moving
Just over a year ago I tipped the scales at 310lbs
In the last 12 months I have completed 2 triathlons, 2 half marathons, a half iron man, and a whole bunch of 5 & 10 k races – I also lost 60+ lbs
I am alive again. Cayman, Derek a few close friends and my wife saved my life. I was destined for a heart attack. A sedentary life which would have cut short my passion. They are super heroes to me and they don’t even know it.
Derek was also a member of Rotary which is a service club, what I mean by that is they get together and organize projects that benefit the community and others. They identify the need. It’s up to you whether you take part.
Derek was part of a group that have been traveling to Guatemala as part of rotary for a number of years. I decided to join the group this year and 9 of us went on a self funded trip to Guatemala as part of the GLP.
Guatemala is a country less than a few hours flight time from us here. Yet the poverty in the rural areas are 3rd world. Until you have seen 3rd world poverty up close and personal it cannot be described.
The GLP tries to break the cycle of poverty by providing schooling, books and compute centers to schools and children that otherwise would not have access to it. It’s been going 17 years. It works.
Before I went – I learnt that most of the group who have been on the trip sponsor a child through school and the program. A friend who was going suggested I sponsor a child before I went as I would get to meet them and it would be a fantastic experience. So I did it costs less than one meal out per month and yet it changes this child’s life, when you do the math it’s a no brainer.
So what do all these examples have in common?
You have to put yourself out there in order to experience something new.
Only you can make it happen.
There are superhero’s amongst us their identities hidden to only those that they have affected.
You don’t have to wear a cape to be a superhero.
So you can be the difference without knowing it, we have so much opportunity right in front of us. Unplug – talk – go see – have an adventure because if I hadn’t tried something like the Guatemala Literacy Program my two boys might still be working in the fields for $2 a day. To them I am Batman.