OMG I couldn’t believe this until I read to the end!

I’m sorry about the title but I love the way most FB posts get you to read an article by implying there is something earth shatteringly good in the text or video link. Alas I’m not sure if the below fits that category but I do hope you will read on…!

The last few months have been a bit of a blur!

I feel I have a mild case of anxiety and trying to figure out why!

Pretty sure my overreliance on coffee does not help this anxiety. So tried going without. Made it a week.

I learnt some pretty cool stuff over the past couple of months so lets give you, dear reader, a little recap. Maybe you can help answer the “what next” question.

January: Had Dad come and stay for a few weeks. He left in much better shape than when he arrived. We put him through Bailey boot camp in an attempt to try and improve his walking and overall wellbeing. Noticed him chocking on his food a few times. He entered his first running race the valentines mile, he did great! He’s not himself though and I’m worried about him. Sad when he left.

February: Some good work wins and Kym and I engineered a new service line to add to her personal training offering. My work constantly keeps me challenged, its exciting that there is so much opportunity but frustrating at the speed of which the market moves.

March: Headed back to the UK for a funeral, for my Grandmother who lived a very full life passing away at the age of 92. Her story is as epic as any person who has lived through the war years and raised a wonderful family. She was scared of being on her own more than she was of dying. Her husband of 60+ years passed away a few years before. I don’t think she ever recovered. Family was her life. She would have been proud to see how many people turned up to give her a good send off.

Travelled to LA for CoEd/Rotary to speak at various rotary clubs throughout the week, spent most of my time sat in traffic. Met some amazing people, did a 100mile bike ride with the LA wheelmen along the pacific coast highway, met a friend in Santa Monica who ticked a bucket list item for me by showing me round Beverley Hills in his 1956 Porsche speedster, people thought we were famous! He topped the week off by getting us courtside seats to the Lakers game! I’ve no idea how he managed it by Ryan Khan you are a star!

 

April: Raced in the Haines City Florida 70.3 Ironman – Achieved a PB even though I took the foot off the gas towards the end! Much to my coaches’ frustration, and mine!

IM finish
IM70.3 Florida Finish

Experienced the Boston Marathon first hand while supporting Kym. I was certainly more nervous than her. This was her biggest bucket list item. As a runner this is their mecca, after the bombings it became even more the marathon that everyone wanted to run. You have to qualify and Kym did. All she wanted to do now was have a great race. People told her she wouldn’t PB because of the hills. I had faith she would. She kept us guessing though and at the moment of the last split coming in on the app tracker we were following I knew she had done it! I was on the phone to her parents who were also tracking, we had a telephonic celebration when her final time came in. I couldn’t get close to the finish line to see her but I was there all the way! We had arranged a meeting spot outside the lingerie store “La Perla” – we thought it funny! I waited what seemed like ages for her to appear and when she did we both cried. The relief, the congrats, the overwhelming sense of achievement I had for her and simply the love. She talked about the race with such excitement and I loved hearing about it, I will also run this race but this time was hers. Everyone who has run a Boston Marathon has a “Boston” story behind it. We have ours and we have our ending. Until the next one.

 

May: Had my uncle come stay with us for 2 weeks, it was awesome to see him enjoy the island to its fullest and re kindle his love for diving. Got to know him better. Good times.

Delivered the largest HR Conference in the Caribbean, Released an Album (Now that’s what I call HR 1 available on ITunes) met some Hollywood stars, and came first in my category in the Grand Cayman May Classic cycle series.

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Delivered a 43 page client report and wrote 2, 80 page proposals in response to RFP’s. Helped the wife launch her new business line which has got off to a great start with her new clients.

Dad got diagnosed with Parkinson’s.

June:

So it’s June and the above was only a highlight of what a 6 months it has been. It’s been incredible, amazing highs and some earth shattering lows. But that’s life. We know the next six months already has a conference in New Orleans, A half Marathon in Chicago, A full Marathon in the UK combined with a special someone’s 70th, Rotary presentations in Idaho, and a full Ironman in Panama city. All whilst holding down a day job, trying to be a good President of the HR society and stressing about family. Its no wonder the speech by Grace Byers at our conference really resonated with me. She opened with “I am enough”. It’s an amazing story and mantra which helps you to ground and take a breath, you can see the speech on the CISHRP facebook page. I’m all for YOLO, but when you try to be all things to all people it can be completely exhausting. Therefore I am going to say “no” a little more, I am going to take a breath. This doesn’t mean I will work any less hard it just means I have to be smarter with my time, and apportion it to those that appreciate it.

So now lets tackles those next six months!

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Those goodbye letters at the end of a visit

There is a part of living overseas that is truly rubbish, I always remember my mum and my auntie Dee saying ememotional goodbyeotional goodbyes to each other after the summer holidays and that was only a boat ride across the Irish sea! But back then it was hellish expensive to get from England to Ireland unless you went via a 16 hour door to door car journey involving an eight hour sea crossing on the B&I boats, which, back then I used to think were massive, the biggest ships on the ocean some even had cabins! However once you have crossed the Irish Sea in a storm you knew you never wanted to be a fisherman or sailor. When you have seen your Nanna “Mac” throwing up in a plant pot whilst trying to find a seat you know that a better way to travel must be found. These days if there is a stiff breeze the ship won’t sail but back then they went in all weathers! Plus the boats were not the mega cargo hauling ferry boats of today with cinemas and all manner of amusements on board, oh no, you really were in for an epic voyage of discovery. The discovery being the contents of your stomach! Maybe that’s why they got so upset at saying goodbye they really were not sure if this was the last voyage!

However saying goodbye to family, especially my mum really never struck me like it does now, I get to see close members of my family face to face so infrequently that it really is like having a piece of your soul torn away just for a little bit. Then, face-time or Skype conversations resume and its ok because everyday is one more day closer to when you see them again. I also think that as we get older we worry more that something will happen to them that we wont be there for, you feel the frailty of life when you hear so many horror stories and honestly I think you never really know if you are saying goodbye… Now that’s heavy… and I don’t say it to upset you dear reader, but to emphasize the importance of living everyday to its fullest and appreciating the fact that you will always have someone who loves you unconditionally, fat, thin, rich poor, good qualities or bad your family will always be the ones who will be there for you. Of course I am supposing that you and your family are close I can only draw from my own experience and whatever ups & downs we go through we have always remained close.

Of course this most acute of pains, “the saying goodbye” one, is totally self-inflicted as we decided to live our lives away from them. We decided that a life on a Caribbean island was worth the momentary heartbreak of saying goodbye, I say momentary as it actually takes a good few days to subside enough to think about normal things again. But there is a tipping point, should it become too difficult because we didn’t want to be here then we would move in an instant to be closer to them, but for now the pros of living in this idyllic place far outweigh the lows of saying goodbye and one of the best remedies for overcoming the low is remembering just how much of a good time they had whilst with us and that reunion embrace that’s sure to come again very very soon.

We always make plans for the next visit, be it us to them or vice versa so we are able to say “see you in September” as that feels real, tangible almost, it feels close and manageable. As I write this I haven’t seen my sisters or father in nearly 2 years its gone so quickly but I know time has come that I must see them as I can’t bear the thought of it being a further 2 years till I see them again. So the September date has been agreed!

I also write this on the eve of my mums 3 week adventure with us over the Christmas and new years period of 2015/16 coming to an end. Its been 2 years since her last trip here and although we talk most days about life, my siblings and the like, her excitement leading up to this trip was akin to that of a 5 year old at Christmas which was just so lovely. Both Kym and I looked forward to this trip as well for several reasons. We both knew my mum needed the break, she works all the hours god sends to ensure the family can be taken care of even though she should take more care of herself, she is mum and she will never stop worrying. Even though we her children are fine, finding our way in the world making mistakes but generally getting by. Mums will never stop the “what if” thought, so they will make sure they have a little put away! Its part of the reason that Kym and I wanted to ensure she had a complete break, gave her the treats she gave us and hopefully send her back to Ireland feeling rejuvenated and ready to take on the world with one small change. Take care of you mum.

So today we have all been a bit subdued as we know the goodbye is coming, its way worse than knowing your going to the dentist to have a tooth pulled because the sadness hits you in waves. One minute you’re fine the next minute a mess knowing that she or they are not going to be a part of your day to day life for a while. It is like grief, and some deal with it better than others. Me, I’m getting worse maybe its because I respect all that they did for me growing up, maybe I can relate to them better now I have some worldly experience, maybe its just because I love them unconditionally and am truly sad that they are going.

But I cant stay sad for long, mum and the rest of the friends and family that visit, love visiting, we create memories, we have quality time and we can remember specific details of each visit. Facebook helps us give them an account of what we are up to and us them. I honestly don’t know how people did this in the time before Internet and skype, maybe that’s why the Cayman Islands were considered a hardship placement! It makes you laugh now but you had to be made of pretty stern stuff to leave everything behind and only be in contact via mail –snail mail that is. I love the wonders of our technology for that. It keeps us close and we are only a call away. Now teleportation that would be cool….

In closing “goodbye letters” its worth noting that I have kept all the little notes we slip under the door or hide in the suitcase that makes us leak a little on the plane or at home when we find them. They are amazing reads for those times when you want the assurance that someone cares and loves the time they spend with you. They remind me of moments I forget and always leave me with a smile on my face because after all they are sonnets for the heart that even Shakespeare, Wordsworth nor Elliot could not capture and personalize for you better than your mum (or someone special to you).

Safe travels Mum see you in September xx

goodbye2